Traditional weddings aren’t designed for introverts and that is the joy of planning your wedding! You and your partner get to create a special day that reflects the two of you from beginning to end.
Both my husband and I are introverts and a lot of our planning went into designing an intimate wedding that would be enjoyable for us and our guests. We knew there were a lot of traditions that would make us feel on the spot or uncomfortable so we simply nixed them from the plans. Simultaneously we thought of ideas that would make us feel comfortable and at ease that we would want to include.
So whether you’re an introvert or looking for a more casual, laid-back event, here are a few tips on how to make your wedding day feel more comfortable and more like you and your partner!
Cut the Guest List
If you want a 300+ wedding, fantastic! But for introverts, that’s probably not the best way to go.
When creating your guest list really analyze who you want in attendance for your special day. Do you need to invite your best friend from 5th grade you haven’t talked to in 15 years? Probably not. Knowing all your guests (minus some plus ones and long lost relatives) will put you at ease when all eyes are on you during the ceremony, toasts, or cake cutting. And bonus, a more intimate affair will save you $!
When you’re thinking about venues for your ceremony and reception try to choose a comfortable, known location. It can be one of your parents’ backyards, a favorite winery or brewery, or a park. Anywhere that can connect you and your partner to a sense of place will make you feel more comfortable the day of.
My husband and I chose a venue, Port Townsend’s fantastic Fort Worden, a place that we loved to both take our dog for long beach walks and grab a delicious dinner. That meant on the day of our wedding I knew where to grab a cup of coffee, special spots to sneak a quiet moment, and a great conversation starter with plus ones and distant relatives.
Include your pets! Nothing makes you feel more comfortable than having your favorite, furry friends nearby. Whether you choose to include your pet in your ceremony or not is up to you, but having them at the event is so fun for so many reasons. If you’re anything like me I talk endlessly about my dog, Chimi, and it was so great for my guests to get to meet my sweet beast.
Pictured is my husband, my dog, and me and this is one of my favorite photos from our big day. I love that our photographer, Jen Lee Light, was able to capture special moments with our favorite four-legged friend.
Get rid of the seating chart and do family style seating instead!
It is challenging to create a seating chart and decide who should sit with who. Then you get into people RSVPing late, or not at all, and then do you even have a place for them when they show up? For my husband and I, we thought this sounded like a whole lot of hassle for something that didn’t matter to us and in fact, we would prefer people to choose where they sat.
We, like many couples, chose to set up our seating family-style which allowed for natural conversation and guests who didn’t know each other to connect. It felt authentic and very us. People felt like they could move around and strike up conversations rather than feeling assigned to a seat or table.
Activities & Spaces
I love when you look around a wedding and you see a group of friends talking and laughing, another set of people striking a pose in the photo booth, others dancing up a storm, and guests strolling the grounds of the venue. I remember being at my best friend’s wedding and seeing the scene described above and thinking she and her new husband must be in bliss.
Having a variety of activities and spaces, allows introverts the chance to either get away from it all for a moment or two or take part in the activities. It’s an easy and special way to accommodate everyone. I snuck a few moments to myself at my wedding to just watch my guests dance, laugh, and enjoy themselves on my special day and for an already spectacular day, it was the cherry on top.